The Nanny by Lana Ferguson

 There was a time when I didn't read books that were in English. But this year things changed and I decided to give this type of book a shot.

And the first book that opens this new era of my reading habits is The Nanny by Lara Ferguson.

I am gonna be honest, I didn't know what this book was about. I just thought that this is a pretty book that I should read. So this is what I did!

What is The Nanny about?

The book presents the story of Cassie and Aiden, two people that came across each other in a moment of decline in their personal lives without realizing that the result of their meeting will shake their reality.

Cassandra Cassie Evans is a fighter and a really determined person. She is also a sensitive girl with a big heart, full of love to share with those around.

Even if she looks like a simple girl, Cassie has an interesting secret and she will do anything to keep that information hidden from the world.

Aiden Reid is a devoted dad and a hard-working person. He realized that he needs help with raising his daughter and he doesn`t hesitate to ask for that help.

He would do anything for his daughter, no matter how hard it is for him to obtain the things that his daughter needs or wants.

What I liked

Sophie

This girl is so sweet and so strong. I just love her. Every time when she appeared in the book she made the entire action funnier and cuter. 

Sophie is a really sweet child and it's obvious that she loves her dad more than anything, even if she sometimes does things that pisses Aiden off.

Wanda

She is the best old woman I ever met in a book. She is exactly like a really cool grandma.

Wanda is funny as hell and she acts like she is everyone's best friend. I really love the fact that she is very friendly with every character who comes into contact with her and she is also always ready to help someone.

The secret

Since the beginning of the book, the secret is presented in a very interesting way. The little hints about what the secret can really mean make the whole book more intriguing. 

Until the moment the truth is revealed, it`s presence gives the whole action a shot of a mysterious vibe.

Aiden`s devotion

Without any doubts, Aiden is a great dad. He would do anything for his little girl and he shows her love every single time he can.

Aiden does his best to divide himself between his job and raising his little daughter almost single-handedly.

What I didn't like

The smut

I didn't like the fact that most of the interactions between Cassie and Aiden ended in bed.

I liked how this scenes where written but they were too frequent for me and my taste.

Final Verdict

In my opinion, The Nanny deserves 4.5 stars out of 5. It was a great book, full of action and with a lot of fun and divers characters.

It was a pleasure to read this book, Cassie and Aiden were two interesting main characters that I loved from the start until the end.

To whom do I recommend this reading

I would recommend this book to everyone that wants to read a good book, with an interesting plot and with characters that are extremely lovely and full of fun.

This book it's a nice one, full of secrets and details that turn the entire story into a real adventure.

Bonus: Quotes that caught my attention

❝It is what it is. I guess you can`t fault them for being terrible parents when they never wanted to be parents in the first place.❞

❝I`ve only known this little girl for two weeks, but I`m starting to think there isn`t much I wouldn`t do to make her smile. Especially since I get the feeling she could use as may smiles as she can get with everything she`s been through.❞

❝I can see the exhaustion on Aiden`s face and not only from a hard day. I can see an exhaustion that seems to weigh on him from the inside out.❞

❝"I`m only telling you this because my parents...they were never there. I put myself to bed, I made my own dinner, I spent weekends talking to a ridiculous number of imaginary friends just to simulate some sort of human contact. That kind of loneliness can really fuck a kid up. But you aren`t them. And I know that because I know what a shitty parents who don`t care look like. I know you care, Aiden." ❞

❝It`s always the ones that I shouldn`t be involving myself with that seem to catch my eye.❞

❝Except...she seemed lonely too. She even told me so. More than once. Maybe that`s what made everything seem like more than it was in my head. It was easy to let myself believe that I was special to her, but it was never real. She never had plans to meet me in person. Even if she pretended to. Her dissapearing completely was evidence enough of that.❞

❝Only liars say they`re fine.❞

❝It`s laughable, given how accurate it is, because the truth of it is that I`m not fine, not really. In fact, I`m living a nightmare of my own making. A purgatory build on my own choices.❞

❝There`s a moment where neither of us says anything, and I know I should avert my eyes, that it`s weird to sit here and keep staring into his, but the problem is...he doesn`t look away either. Once again I find myself wishing I could know what he`s thinking.❞

❝"I just don`t think you should ever imply that you aren`t good enough for someone. Least of all me."❞

❝I say nothing, because I have no idea what to begin to even say, watching his bach as he walks away from me. Over and over, my mind is picking apart and piecing together every single thing that he just said, to try to find the meaning of it coming to all sorts of conclusions, each one making lees sens than the last. Did Aiden really just tell me in some strange roundabout way that I am well within his league? That he is in mine?❞

❝He goes quiet again, and I find myself regreting bringing it up, just like I knew I would. The streetlights still pass by outside, and my heart`s still beating too fast, but it holds none of the trange anticipation from a moment ago, just embarrassment and mild disappointment.❞

❝"Who says that you`re the only one? What if I`ve been thinking about you too?"❞

❝But then I remember all the reasons why I can`t, and again I feel that heavy weight of guilt settle at still not telling him of our past. Still too afraid to risk losing this to bring it up. I want to believe that ir wouldn`t matter, that Aiden likes me enough to look past it - but the uncertainty makes me keep quiet, feeling like shit for doing so.❞

❝For the first time in a long time, I feel almost like I belong here, that I`m doing good here, and given that it`s the first real family to welcome here...is it my fault that I would want to do anything I could to hold on to it a little longer.❞

❝I know deep down...it`s too late for that now.❞

❝"You always think the worst of people. You can`t just assume something will go wrong before you give it a chance."❞

❝"You can`t let the bad taste they left in your mouth ruin your whole dinner."❞

❝You can`t plan your whole futurejusrt because of one bad day from the past.❞

❝It1s still there, that worry in my stomach that comes with knowing that I should be spilling my guts right now, but I assuage my quilt with the reasoning that it would be a bad idea to broach this conversation when he`s got one foot out the door. Something like this will take more time to hammer out, I tell myself. It`s better to wait.❞

❝That the one person that Sophie needed most, could also be the one person that I needed ,ost, without even having realized it?.❞

❝"I`m angry that you dealt with this alone. I`m angry that you spent all this time worrying that I would push you away without giving me the chance to tell you that there is absolutely no way I`m letting you get away again."❞

❝How is it possible that after all this time, I would find the answer to all those questions in such an unexpected way?❞

❝It still feels like it might be a dream, and maybe I would actually worry that it was, if she wasn`t so very warm and so very real in my arms. It has me wandering how many days we need to spend together for it to be socially acceptable to entertain the idea that I might be gone for this woman. Surely more than we have, I would think.❞

❝"How do you think I feel? I have to connvince myself every day that someone like you would want to hang around."❞

❝Butterflies swarm in my stomach in my stomach and up into my chest and for a moment it feels like i might float away if Aiden`s hand wasn`t tethering me to his bed. It`s an entirely new feeling, but not one I dislike.❞

❝The weight of that sentiment feels havier than his body, and I let it wrap around me like a blanket, as I melt back into fim, letting him dizzy me with his hiss and his touch and everything else.❞

❝There`s an ache that comes with the dream, one I haven`t let myself feel for a very long time - some crushing anxiety about being alone. A stifling worry that comes from being such a dissapointment to the two people whose love should have come easy.❞

❝They`ll be better off if I do it now, before we get too deep. Before we reach some point that we can`t turn back from. Before Aiden realizes that I was never worth t in the first place. I can`t say whethher or not the decision I`ve come to is stupid, but...I know it`s going to hurt like hell.❞

❝I can`t comprehend what she`s saying. How can she actually think that her leaving could be a good thing? Just the thought of her walking out my door right now makes me feel like I`m swallowing water far beneath the surface, struggling to swim upward but suspended far below. It feels like drowning.❞

❝I`m months shy of being thirth-two, and I have never in my adult life left as helpless as I do right now. I can feel her slipping through my fingers, and it feels unfair, unreal - I`ve barely even had her at all, and now I`m going to lose her.❞

❝The kiss is wet from her tears, only making me feel more making me feel more desperate, and I try to pull her closer, try to bridge the gap between us that feels like it`s widening by the second.❞

❝There`s a moment when she leans in when I think maybe she`ll fall into my arms and forget this entire conversation - but it`s fleeting shipping through my fingers just like shepis. She pulls away, keeping her eyes shut tight as her fingers wrap around my wists to gently, pry them from her face. She steps away from me, and it`s on;y a foot of space between us, but it feels like miles.❞

❝Two words, but they`re enough to rip me to shreds. But I`m not ignorant to the look in her eyes. I can see how much this is killing her. How much she doesn`t want to go. How can I let her go, when she`s looking at me like she is? Like she wants me to hold her?❞

❝Every emotion that has raged inside me from the moment I realized her intention fizzles out and dies. In their wake is a cold, empty void that I find is somwho more terrifying that the idea of her leaving only moments ago. It feels like the end of something. Or maybe it feels like something that never really was.❞

❝What a ridiculous phrase. Meaningless. How is it that in millions of years we haven`t managed to come up with a better string of words to offer someone whose heart`s being stomped on? I`m sorry feels like offering a Band-Aid for a shark bite.❞

❝I still want to hold her, but knowing that she doesn`t want me to keeps me on the couch, my hands fisted at my sides and my eyes trained on the floor.❞

❝I don`t tell her goodbye. I don`t think I`m physically able to make my mouth from the word. Almost like it`s weird shut in rebellion. As if not saying it will somehow make all of this go away.❞

❝I don`t cry. I think I`d like to, but everything is so numb. Instead, I put my head in my hands, my shoulders shaking as I close my eyes and try to forget the way Cassie kissed me like she didn`t want to go. Even if I already know it`s going to hunt me, I have a terrifying feeling that all of her will.❞

❝"I make do. I have fun, I do. And I have you now, and that`s been enough for me. But I see you sitting there, making the same mistakes, and I can`t sit by and watch my life play out all over again with you. Trust me, Cassie. You don`t want to see Aiden someday with his pretty blonde in a white dress. You don`t forget pain like that. You don`t ever forget loving someone that could have been yours if you hadn`t pushed them away."❞

❝"Yes, it does. My mom always said that you can fix anything with love."❞

❝"I`m offering you my whole damned life, if you want it."❞